Part & parcel of entering the gray area I described in my last post is the daily balancing act between plans for what’s to come and current responsibilities (both enjoyable and mundane), not letting either one overwhelm the other. It’s hard enough to do this in everyday life, but with a big move or trip coming up, it becomes ten times harder.

Almost every day, I resent my work for keeping me from doing the things in the house that I need to do. At the same time, I resent what I need to do on the house for keeping me from working, and I resent both of them for preventing me from spending time with the friends and family I will be leaving behind. I wish I could structure my life into focusing on one thing at a time for an extended period of time — now is when I work, now is when I pack, now is when I relax and play. But instead, I have to find a balance between the three: fitting in a small moving task at the end of my work day when all I want to do is relax; scheduling breakfast with visiting friends before doing a half-day’s work, then meeting up with them again for dinner; or working on the 4th of July so that I can devote time to a dear childhood friend staying with us next weekend.

Life is always a balancing act, I know. Most of the time we do it effortlessly, not really thinking about the tradeoffs and compromises we make every day. But sometimes, there is something that tips the scales just enough to make keeping everything up in the air just a little bit more difficult, and you become conscious of the amount of effort it all takes. The key is to not let myself get overwhelmed at any point during the process, and just put one foot in front of the other, over and over again, til finally it’s all done and the big day is here.

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