Well, I’ve been married for a week now. How is that possible?

In the months leading up to the wedding, it seemed as though time had slowed way down, and would stop altogether once the wedding was over. I could not conceive of any events post-wedding, much less plan for their actuality.

Now it seems that life does go on, and all too quickly. It took six months to plan the wedding, four and a half hours to primp for it, and then the whole thing was over in a little over five hours. And those five hours were the fastest of my life – it seemed that I had only just finished saying hello to everyone when they all started leaving.

But everyone I either greeted or said farewell to was someone beloved of either myself or my husband. Everyone there had tears in their eyes when we said our vows. And everyone there was overjoyed to see that we had found each other, and they all enjoyed the wines, the cakes, the decorations, and the glorious autumn evening.

So I realized yet again, as I have all the way through, that really a wedding is not about the two people getting married. Yes, they are the stars of the show, the centerpiece of the event, but they are just sideshow to what’s really going on. In the swirl of their passage follow new connections, people meeting for the first time whose only thing in common is the couple they are feting.

For me, the deepest joy of the whole weekend was that every time I came up for breath, I looked around and saw the people I love most in the whole world meeting each other, laughing, talking, bonding… all because of us and our happiness. There were a few notable, heartbreaking absences, yes, but carrying those loved ones in my heart made it all the more poignant and wonderful.

As for my new state of matrimony… I have to say that being an honest woman doesn’t feel all that different from being a dishonest one. I am surprised every time I look at my husband’s hand and see a ring, thinking, “Wait, who are you married to? Have you been lying to me this whole time???” The first time he referred to me as his wife, I had to look around to see whom he was talking about.

Of course there’s a whole bunch of bureaucracy to deal with around changing my name, and a new signature to learn. (And yes, I am changing my name, which everyone seems to treat as very quaint and sweet. When did it stop being the norm to take your husband’s name? Or do I just seem the type to keep my maiden name?) Otherwise there’s not a whole lot of discernible difference, either in our relationship or our lives. Yet, anyway.

So yes, the party was all about the other people, and no, our lives are not that different after the fact. But there were a few moments in all of the hullabaloo when the whole world just dropped away and only we two remained. In those moments, the sheer profundity of what I was doing hit me all over again, and I was deeply humbled to be uniting my life with such a big-hearted, brilliant, loving man. I know with absolute certainty that I will be taken care of my whole life through, and hope to God that I will earn that care by giving the same in return.

No wonder the whole day felt like a blur. With all of these huge emotions flying around, I think I could relive it twelve times over and still not comprehend all that happened last Sunday. I wish that I could go back and watch it all in slow-motion, like we can with the video… perhaps then I could study and savor every interaction between every loved one, and every wonderful moment with my brand new husband. But instead, our families and friends will be talking about the wedding for years to come, replaying it in slow motion through words and memories, and it will live on as one of the most magical days in my life.

We done good, darling. We done real good.

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