OK, on a more personal note than the news roundups…

A couple weeks ago, my wonderfully astute therapist pointed out to me that perhaps the reason I’m having “bride block” (i.e. I can’t seem to motivate myself to do anything for the wedding, which is now only four months away – eep!) is because I’m conflating that Big Event with all the other Big Events going on in my life. My father is ill, my grandmother is gone, and my brother is soon to be in a far-off dusty country, all of which made me recently decide to postpone a lifelong career goal.

And oh by the way, I’m getting married.

I am often told that big events are always scary, no matter if they’re happy or sad. So really, it’s little wonder that the latter kind of got embroiled in all the negativity. But once I realized that I was making this association, I was also able to detach the really good event from the not-so-good ones and start making some decisions.

Conversely, every step I take towards making the Big Day an actuality also makes it more real in my own head. So perhaps the huge rigmarole that modern weddings have become actually does serve a purpose. By taking well-defined, pre-established steps to arrange the wedding day itself, couples also reconcile themselves to the concept of getting married. And, as each manageable step is taken, the invitations sent, the flowers arranged… the immense idea of spending the rest of your life with someone also seems a little more manageable. Of course this says nothing about the reality of the marriage itself, but that’s a different story.

At the very least, I am starting to see the point of this whole unfathomable practice of having a wedding ceremony in the first place. This is not to say that I am becoming bridezilla, not by any means. But at least I’m starting to think about flowers.

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